Thursday, July 3, 2014

My Messy, Complicated, Blessed Life

 
 




I didn’t wait for the one, I didn’t marry my high school sweetheart, we didn’t have a cute little house with a white picket fence and two children and we didn’t celebrate milestones like 25 year anniversaries. No, that wasn’t my life…





My life was messy and complicated and full of hurtful choices- some made by me and some made for me- and of course it included painful consequences.




I used to hate that this was my life- disappointed that my story didn’t include all those pretty perfect things. I used to be angry with myself, with others, and sometimes even with God for the way my life turned out.



And then

God poured His grace into my life, filling me up to overflowing until I could no longer scrutinize the life that wasn’t but could only be thankful for the life that was. Looking back over my life I could see how He had protected me so many times from others and even from myself and how He rescued, restored and redeemed me from the deepest, darkest, most painful places.



The lyrics to the song "How He Loves" frequently play over and over in my head and in my heart….


He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all…

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If his grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don't have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about the way...

He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves us,
Oh, how He loves.



Now when I think about my life and all that was and is and will be I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by how much God loves me, and how much He has blessed me - in ways I never dreamed and certainly didn’t deserve.


We have an amazing God who loves us like no other and when we fully comprehend that- all of the disappointments and hurts are eclipsed by His glory and regrets no longer have a place.




 

But I trust in your unfailing love. I will rejoice because you have rescued me. Psalm 13:5

 


 

6 comments:

  1. Beautiful! I feel the same way about my own life, Lanette, and can look back and see how much God has loved me through every step!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've replied to your comment 3 times now, not sure where it keeps going!
      I'm so thankful that He loves us unconditionally! And that He uses what was meant for evil to bring good to us and to others....like connecting people with similar stories-similar hurts, like you and me <3

      Delete
  2. Isn't His love truly amazing?? All glory be to God x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, it sure is Jessie! Glory to God!!! :)

      Delete
  3. You know what's great about this story? I always thought I didn't have a very good testimony because Jesus didn't pull me up out of the gutter to save me. I was just your average, goody-two-shoes, teen who wanted His love in my life. Regardless of our stories, God's grace is always amazing! (I can't figure out how to link you to my blog in the comment area but if you're interested the web address www.nancyholte.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Nancy and you're right...God is ALWAYS amazing! A friend of mine recently spoke at one of our women's events and her testimony was much like yours and she didn't think she had a "story" but her words blessed and encouraged so many!!! I imagine yours do too! I'm gonna head over and check out your blog :)

      Delete