Let me rephrase that, I’m exhausted!
And just so you know how exhausted I really am, I couldn’t remember how to spell "rephrase". Seriously... I completely drew a blank, I had nothing!
As I sit here downing more caffeine just to get through the day, I glance over and see Bonnie Gray’s book Finding Spiritual Whitespace sitting (unread) neatly in the corner of my desk.
My thoughts immediately race to what the book implies (soul rest) and I ask myself, what will happen if I allow myself to slow down? Instinctively I respond, well for starters, I won’t be able to accomplish as much and I might not get to where I’m supposed to be….
~sigh~ because the plan for my life depends solely on me, right?
Wrong. So wrong, but I’ve lived my life for so long as if it does depend solely on me that I push myself to do more, be more, have more.
Maybe some would call it ambitious but I call it RESTLESS.
My soul is rarely at rest. I even fight sleep, staying up much later than I should, refusing to go to bed and then when I finally do, I can’t sleep. And for what? Because I hope to accomplish more? Because I'm afraid I'll miss out on something? I'm not really sure but I know this, it's a vicious cycle.
Now I know that God does have a plan for my life but I’m sure it does not include running myself ragged and saying yes to everything but Him, especially when all He wants is for me to come and rest, to come and sit with Him awhile.
This is why I need spiritual whitespace. I need to learn how to allow my soul to rest, to sit in God’s presence and breathe Him in -deeply.
I’m giving myself permission (with the Lord’s help!) to slow down long enough to read Bonnie’s words, to allow them to sink in, to ask God to reveal Himself to me in those quiet moments.
Will you join me?