Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Comparison Crushes Individuality

To be nobody but yourself in a world doing its best to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle any human can ever fight and never stop fighting.
- e. e. cummings
We waste so much time on comparison, when the reality is that we are each uniquely made by our Creator.

He knew us before He knit us together in our mother’s wombs.
While we may have similar traits as our grandmothers, mothers, aunts or daughters, there is NO ONE who is exactly like us and yet we consistently compare who we are and who we are not with who we wish we could be.

If only I had her hair, her skin, her body - you get the picture, it’s an unending, unrealistic list that we relentlessly pursue.

If only I were only skinnier.

If only I were smarter.

If only I had a better job.

If only I lived in a better/bigger house.

The "If onlies" cause us to stumble.

There is a big difference between a desire to better ourselves and a tendency to repeatedly batter ourselves.

It can be a good thing to strive to eat healthy and exercise but when we’re constantly wishing we looked liked someone else we’re only setting ourselves up for disappointment.

It can be a good thing to want to further our education and push ourselves to achieve our full potential but when we struggle with who we are or who we aren’t because we’re comparing ourselves and our lives to others, that’s when we run into trouble.

That’s because the trouble with comparison is that we only see the surface of other’s lives, we don’t see the secret struggles, the disappointments, the failures, that they’ve so carefully hidden.

We only see what they want us to see and sometimes we only see what we want to see.

This is the very reason why it’s so important to share our stories, our struggles, our secrets because when we do we allow others access to the good, the bad and the ugly and they see that their lives are not so different. We give them hope for their own circumstances and reveal the truth – that instead of comparing our lives to one another we should be striving to share our lives with one another.

It’s ok to be you because that is exactly who God made you to be!

I’m linking up with Holley Gerth at Coffee for Your Heart today


  1. Lanette, thank you for taking time out of your day to stop by my blog! I can't tell you how many women I've encountered talking about and writing about this idea of comparisons this week. It's as though the topic is universally on the hearts and minds of women right now.

    I think it probably has a little to do (or a lot to do) with social media. I know that I strive to be positive on social media. There's so much negative noise and I just don't want to be a part of that. But I think it can give the illusion that everything in my life is wonderful. Behind those smiling faces and encouraging words, there is a real woman, with a real family, who sometimes struggles with very real problems ... including sin.

    I loved when you said "that instead of comparing our lives to one another we should be striving to share our lives with one another." Perhaps there's a movement of women across America ready to do this very thing. Perhaps if we all keep sharing the same heart cry, our collective story will grow so loud that we can't help but listen.

    1. I so agree Tarissa! I try to be transparent and share my struggles, my sins, my failures, which is one of the reasons I started the ministry Beauty for Ashes- Healing for the Abortion Wounded Heart.
      I think there is a "movement of women", especially with what the (in)courage group is doing! Such an amazing ministry!!!
      Thank you for stopping by and sharing your words and your heart cry! I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts :)